Wednesday, January 2, 2019

Progress

I wanted to say a few words in light of the past 3 weeks. I was in a serious car accident and broke my back and wrist. At first I was incredibly worried about lifelong low back pain as this is a common mechanism for chronic problems. However, now I am grateful to be alive and walking. Had any of the factors been different, I could be much more badly hurt. As is, I can walk, the pain is lessening every day, and I have the assurances right now that I will return to many of the activities I love like running, swimming, and hiking. I'm optimistic about backpacking and climbing as well.
But I haven't touched social media yet. I don't know what to say. How I couldn't even stand I was in so much pain, or how I literally couldn't walk without a walker for 2-3 days. I couldn't wipe myself. My life revolved around 3 hour increments between pain meds. I cried in my pajamas at 10am on a tuesday trying to crack an egg. I have considered each action I do for the last 3 weeks and how to ergonomically perform it and if it will hurt.
Now that we are in 2019 I want to focus on what I can do. I will fiercely and bitterly fight with every ounce of strength I have to return to where I was. My goal is to not let these injuries limit or define who I am for the rest of my life. It also bothers me how so many people only use social media for the positive moments in their lives. I don't want to vomit too much personal information all over, but it's damaging to only see these one-sided portrayals of life. I haven't posted anything, because I don't know what to say. We all need to each and every day how incredibly fortunate we are. How important it is for everyone to have a safety buffer and how quickly everything can change.
There's a lot I don't know about how 2019 will go. But I know more than ever how loved I am and how amazing and compassionate my community is. My friends and family came together to help me in ways I will spend repaying for a long time.  It's one thing to say you would do anything for someone: it's another thing to actually see that proven.
So 2019 will be better. I'm not the same person I was 3 weeks ago. Nothing will make it go back. But I am resilient and tough and what I can't do others will help with. I will get through this and in the end I will be okay.

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